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Complete Fulfillment has been a myth for me to this point

Over my last vacation on the 4th of July I came to the conclusion that my life was anything but balanced and I needed to fix that.  I had this revelation about Complete Fulfillment which I started to write about here.  Well that idea quickly got pushed aside by work – again – along with my blogging if you will notice the last date I posted.  I just took another vacation and did some reflecting and attempted some stress management and realized that I am no better off than I was 90 days ago and in many ways things are worse.  I’m not exactly sure how to get a handle on things but one thing that has worked somewhat in the past is protecting my personal time.  This means not multi talking but being present with the things I have decided to do at that time.

I have been working my ass off to get a new business off the ground and it has been a great experience but that great experience has come at a significant price.  The price has been eating bad, sleeping little, the most stress I have ever had, short with my kids, not being fully engaged with my kids, no prayer, no personal time and less time with my wife than ever.  There are a lot of pieces to life that are more significant than work and none of those are getting a fair shake in my life right now. 

This is the second vacation that my work has significantly interrupted my personal life.  I am admittedly one of those people that checks the iPhone multiple times and day and responds but these are on the level of someone freaking out to the point that it ruins my time with my kids.  And that is not ok with me.  I am more than willing to bust my ass for work - I have done that consistently for 10 years now.  I am not getting everything right in this current position but I am giving it everything I am equipped to give at this stage in my career.  From the ups and the downs I am learning every day and part of that learning is that I have to have the other parts of my life represented.  I know there will not always be perfect balance but no balance is not healthy and not acceptable to me.  I keep trying to balance my life based on my job being the one thing I can’t change and everything else balancing around it but maybe I have things backwards.

Posted via email from Matt Hixson's Posterous